Wasted years.
Spent on being bitter, wondering how things could have been, worring about all the little things. So much time passed. I used to think that only if you fall can you get up, but the more I fell, the more I just kept falling.
It took a gust of grace to lift me up; to show me that what I was looking for was around all the time. The trees, the birds, the winds, they were always whispering.
Wasted years, searching for a path. Wondering when the inspiration would come. Wondering when I would be myself again.
I stumbled into a new home and realized that there was a hand at my back this whole time.
I had forgotten just how many people, how many moments and how much love had gone into making me into the person I am. I had forgotten, that each moment is a miracle. I know that all of us have the same story.
Wasted years, thinking about how I could get ahead. Comparing myself to others. Scheming, plotting, trying to make a name for myself.
It took the poetry of Kabir ringing in my ears during a full moon night to realize that all of us, at the center, we are all the same. We are all searching for the very same thing.
Wasted years, so many relationships I’ve squandered. So many people I’ve hurt along the way. Each person I’ve met came with a gift, holding a flower in their hand. The next time I hope I come with open hands, ready to receive all that you have to offer.
It took a leaf on a tree to show me just how many years we’ve wasted. Building bombs, weapons, scare tactics, making each other afraid of one another. Competing for just about everything. As I look at that leaf I realize that I just want to spend the rest of my life feeling grateful, does anything else really matter?
Wasted so many years, on myself.
It took three months to October to show me that I could have given so much more. I could have washed more dishes, made more sandwiches, greeted more guests, made the floor just a little bit cleaner. When I’m 90 with three months to go, I don’t want to be feeling this way. So I’ve got to give, more than I’ve ever given before to take advantage of the years that are just wasting away. To save the rest of myself.
That was a good write up. A lot of people appreciate having someone like you, with your good ideas and inspiring qualities. After knowing you for a few years, I think I have some idea of what you mean by squandered relationships and wasted years. I think after I hit 30, I started falling into that mental trap about “wasted years” too. And I’m sure I’ll go through that pattern again many times. But, I also realized I’m ready to die (In the Bruce Lee “Game of Death” sense)–and that meant I’m ready for anything–meaning I was ready to live :-). Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing your real reflections. After reading this, my advice for you is not to think you have to save yourself. When that time comes, you’ll know what to do and you’ll have a great set of people that you have related to lend a hand. And it’ll be because of all these years you’ve spent giving your ear and the good words and deeds you’ve shared. Good Luck, young man.
Sweeeeet! Sukh…amazing writing and thoughts, heart inspirations. I love these words especially that you have shared with us…I can relate:
It took a gust of grace to lift me up; to show me that what I was looking for was around all the time. The trees, the birds, the winds, they were always whispering
I stumbled into a new home and realized that there was a hand at my back this whole time.
Each person I’ve met came with a gift, holding a flower in their hand. The next time I hope I come with open hands, ready to receive all that you have to offer. (Giving is incredible..but it also takes sooo much strength to receive.)
Such wise words. Gracias!!!
In my search to see where you are and how you’re doing, I came across your blog. I realize that this was written in 2009, but there isn’t too much written thereafter. You know I’m not a writer. So bear with me. Here’s my humble attempt to express what my heart feels:
I love you completely, inside & out, just as you are. 🙂
I love your soft brown eyes, hair long or short, with or without a beard.
I love you with a big house & nice car… or a simple garage room that welcomed all.
I love it when you speak from your heart… you uplift & inspire, you move & groove.
I love you as a full-time servant, the same as a corporate professional, or as DJ Sukh.
I love the bright, confident young man I see on the outside, and especially…
I love the fun loving, mysterious little boy inside, still full of wonder & even doubts.
I love that you’re not perfect… that you have faults, weaknesses, temptations…
I love it because it means you’re human… and you’re just like ME, and he, and she!!
I love that we’re all evolving together. Thank you for being YOU, and for being a part of ME!
I love that because of you and the universe… your baby ‘Be The Cause’ was given life.
I love how you and BTC gave us the opportunity to serve, to love, to give more of ourselves.
I love that we all have the capability to change our state of mind, our present, and future.
I love knowing that you have contributed so much to my journey upon this earth.
I love you, little brother. I appreciate you loving me and my family, just the way we are. Thank you for wasting many years with us… looking forward to wasting many more together! 🙂
Love All Unconditionally, Respect All, Serve All…
Your Big Sister